Insanity Day 3: LEGS

I woke up yesterday morning and was delighted by the fact that I could still walk. Yes, my calves (specifically, something Google tells me is called the gastrocnemius, but I don't know how to pluralize that) felt like maybe my dog had slept on them all night - which is impossible, because she is the biggest pillow hog I've ever encountered. But still, I was able to take Joule for a walk, go up and down stairs, and even reach stuff on the high shelves! I'm short. Shut up.

So of COURSE I had to continue with Insanity! I got further this time, but not by much. I spent the time I should have used to continue killing myself in front of the TV with getting re-acquainted with the treadmill, so I did get a full 40-minutes in.

The rest of the day was magical. A surprise visit from the besties, a visit from a friend who was kind enough to take home some kale, a surprise phone call from a dear out-of-town friend, a successful first try at making vegan/sugar-free/IBS-friendly cookies, and getting all of my cooking for the week done. And eating kale. And watching the Olympics. Whew!

Then... this morning happened. It was time to feed Joule and let her outside, which is not something to be ignored. We get up at 5:30 AM on weekdays, so I suppose I should be grateful that she waits until 7 AM on weekends to make her needs known. As soon as I stood up to grab her food bowl, I felt it. 

The pain.

Holy cuss, you guys.

It felt like somebody took a baseball bat to my calves (gastrocnemii? gastrocnemiuses?) and worked out all their anger. I've invented a whole new way of walking. I did not take Joule for a walk. I do not like stairs. I can't reach anything. I did not pass go. I did not collect $200.

What DID I do? Insanity. The good news is I made it through the full 40 minutes. The bad news is I was pretty much going at half the pace. Apparently I should never sacrifice form for speed, so I made sure my form was perfect. At one-fourth the speed. Maybe one-eighth. It's hard to tell when you're sweating that much from doing slo-mo squats.

My boyfriend spent most of the afternoon giving me a gastrocnemius massage (which is neither sexy nor exciting, so calm down) and lecturing me on the importance of giving myself recovery days. I'll probably ignore him and end up whining even more tomorrow. To his great credit, he watched me hobble around without making fun of me once, and volunteered to carry me out to the car when we went out for dinner (I declined. I have pride. I also couldn't think of a way for him to carry me without touching my legs).

Goals for the week: eat smarter, figure out how to insert a daily workout into my weekday schedule, and start setting aside money for compression socks.

Insanity Day 1: It's not so bad

For those of you who don't know, Insanity is an intense cardio video workout program. Have you heard of P90X? Know how that takes 90 days? Insanity takes 60.

My boyfriend's brother has had awe-inspiring results from this program, and a friend from college, who already had a rockin' body, now makes everybody else look stupid because she's just better through this program.

I ran track in middle school. It was awful. I did it because my friends were doing it, and I can't even tell you how thrilled I was when it was over. Last fall, I decided to try running again for the first time in 12 years. The first three runs were agony; everything after that was beautiful. But then winter came, and I had my first bout of IBS, and because I ignored my doctor it took me weeks to recover. By the time I thought my health was back, my interest in exercise was gone. The results? Weight gain, lower self esteem, and a downward spiral to a sedentary lifestyle.

So - let's try working out for the next sixty days. I need to get into the habit of exercising daily, and if this program happens to get me into the best shape of my life, how can I complain? I sincerely hope that this re-ignites my passion for running, because for me the worst part of running was knowing that I was out of shape.

After work this afternoon, I put on my favorite athletic clothes, popped in the first DVD, and got ready to dig deeper. All the programs run for roughly 40 minutes. I intended to make it through the first five. I also intended to name this post "Insanity Day 1: I start the worst fitness program EVER".

I made it through the first 20 minutes. I have never sweat so much in my life. I am very aware that I will be sore tomorrow and will have to figure out how to persevere. 

I am SO PROUD of myself.

Obligatory self-indulgent post

I'm terrible with commitments.

I am 27 years old, and I live with my parents and dog in southwest Minneapolis. I'm not terribly proud of living with my parents at this point in my life, but if you knew my parents, you'd understand that this is not the prison sentence most 20-somethings who live at home seem to think it is. And my dog, Joule (yup, named her after a physics concept because I'm a nerd), who is a three-year-old black lab/pit bull, is better than every other dog.

I am very lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend and not one but two best friends who live in my area. I am also lucky to have a number of friends who don't live here but I can still refer to as friends. Keeping in touch isn't my strong point, so thank you to those who keep me on track, and a bigger thank you to those who keep asking if I'm alive. I'm alive. Just a little lazy.

I love to read, cook, bake, eat, spend time with loved ones, do crossword puzzles, garden, travel, play board/card/video games, and conquer the world. Not necessarily in that order.

I'm vegetarian, super liberal, and Jewish.

I went to college and graduated with certifications to teach theatre and English in both WI and MN. Since there are evidently no jobs in that field, I spent the last four years of my life working at Blockbuster, because they still exist here. About six weeks ago I made the best decision I've made in a long time and found a new job at an insurance company's claims department. It's the best job in the world. I'm serious.

Except... going from a job where I spent every moment on the move to a job where I could theoretically spend the entire day sitting down didn't do my body any favors. I've spent a lot of time figuring out what makes my body the happiest (which I measure by how healthy my poop is), and any changes to the program are unacceptable. I went to my doctor, since I have fancy-schmancy insurance these days, and she promptly diagnosed me with IBS. Actually, what she said was more along the lines of "Remember when you were ill last December and I said you have IBS and you ignored me?... You have IBS."

So now what? Because my doctor is awesome and doesn't automatically prescribe a pill for every little problem, she gave me a lot of information on diet and exercise. 

The problem is, I'm terrible with commitments. This sort of diet and exercise isn't a dinky little 30-days-to-better-health load of nonsense; it's a complete lifestyle change. The last time I made a change like this was when I decided to become vegetarian five years ago. I've made a number of easy changes - not eating the things that make my tummy hurt, researching the high-fiber foods I need to eat, cutting caffeine out of my diet (it's Day 10 of that, folks, and it's not easy), and learning to love probiotics - but now I need to actually eat those foods I've researched and start exercising. 

Tomorrow, I'll start a difficult workout regimen. I expect to fail, not because it will hurt, but because I'm terrible at following through. One of the reasons I'm starting this blog is to hopefully stay on target. This isn't between exercise and myself, it's between exercise and the internet. I also intend to write about whatever I feel like. Not just the health stuff, but how my garden grows, what a great book/movie/TV series I'm into, what I overheard that crazy person say out in public, pet peeves, dog stories, or general nonsense.

The other reason I'm starting this blog is because somebody asked that I put my knowledge base online. Well, what a good idea!